LOVE WINS

In honor of Valentines Day, I’ve decided to go back to something I love…blogging.

Since everyone has been focused on “love” this weekend I want to share a story. It’s a story about a homemade t-shirt, a movement and a choice… & they are all centered around: LOVE

If you are a part of the C3 Family then you have seen our “LOVE WINS” shirts (and if not you have probably still seen them because I wear them all the time)

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It is one of my favorite shirts! But not because of the cool font or even the catchy phrase. 

This shirt represents a story…

There was day when tear-stained hands placed fabric letters on an old t-shirt.

When the pain and the loss was so great it couldn’t even really be explained.

When almost everyone that had the title of “friend” was now forming groups to gossip and lie. They were determined to do anything they could to make sure church stayed their familiar country club clique where outsiders were not welcome.

People that used to surround our dinner table, were now relentless in their malicious pursuit to stop this “crazy” movement. They want to put an end to the idea/movement that church could actually connect the community with Christ and be Jesus to those in our city.

The story of C3 Church is an amazing one and thankfully many of those in the C3 family today did not have to experience the battle that took place to start such a movement.

It was brutal.

The ugliest side of those that called themselves “Christians” was on display and the hate was almost suffocating.

“Let those people find somewhere else to go. Those tattoo covered, shorts wearing…lost… people find some other church. This is MY church…and I like it just the way it is.”

The fear of the unknown and the love of traditions triumphed anything the bible had to say.

That is why the reminder was needed. This is why the choice had to be made. A choice to choose LOVE over hate. 

There was no way to know then, that choice would be the starting point of a movement. That thousands of shirts would be made based off the inspiration of this little homemade shirt.

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An article about the launch of C3 church in Regal Cinemas included a picture of my mom sporting her homemade LOVE WINS shirt.

My mom is truly one of the strongest women I know!  As a 10th grade high school student walking through what felt like my world ending, I knew I had a choice. I was so tempted to be filled with hate. 

As she stuck those letters on that shirt and wore it as a declaration…I made my choice.

LOVE always WINS.

Every time I see sometime wearing “C3 Apparel” I smile. But as I said before, this shirt is probably my favorite. It is my reminder.

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My reminder of God’s grace.

His closeness.

His promise.

My reminder that one persons choice to not quit, to stand and to hold tight to truth…can truly change everything. The choice to stand up for those you haven’t event met yet no matter what the cost. 

It was worth every tear. Every loss. Every single moment of why…

It.was.worth.it.

They are worth it.

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But it wasn’t just for “them.” Like I mentioned, it impacted me and my choice at a young age. No one knew then, but one day my little guys would not only be wearing cute LOVE WINS shirts…

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But they would also grow up in a home that believes:

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LOVE. WINS.

No matter what you may be facing HIS LOVE…the one true love….has the potential to change you. It may not change your situation or your surroundings, but it will change you. 

Make the choice to stand out. Choose to be an example and let light shine through you.
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You never know who you will impact. Because it was just a little homemade shirt that turned into to something spreading far beyond the walls of our church.

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I’m so very thankful for a mom that had the courage to be an example and choose LOVE years ago. But I am even more thankful that she has continued to choose love everyday since. She will never fully know the impact that choice has had on countless people and generations to come.

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LOVE WINS.
It’s a reminder.
IT’S A CHOICE (OFTEN DAILY).
It’s a declaration.

His LOVE always always WINS!

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It’s True.

Ever True. 

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I know it has been over a month since my last post and I haven’t been updating the way I planned when it comes to weight loss. I definitely have my hands full with these two little guys.

(My next post is going to be all about my boys with a crazy amount of pictures and maybe even a few adorable videos…so make sure you follow or subscribe so you don’t miss it!)

I have started to write a few times but I honestly just needed some time. Some time to prove that I am getting healthy for me…not for anyone else. What you do when no one knows, when no one is watching, that is what will make or break you. I think I needed to eat healthy/exercise etc. and prove to myself that I could and would do this no matter what.

But I was reminded of something so encouraging, I just had to share.

Here is a quick update:

I’m down 8 lbs from March 17th. I have lost more than that but I gained some weight back over my birthday celebration(S). (what can I say I am a VERY loved girl 🙂 )

I have been eating healthy most days. My diet mainly consist of veggies, meat, and some fruit <-THIS IS MY WEAKNESS…I would just eat fruit for every meal…but all that sugar! Yeah, not a good idea.

I cut out dairy originally because I’ve noticed that really helps me lose weight. I promise it is much easier than you think and all it takes is some pizza (last Friday night) or froyo (saturday…I’m telling you birthday celebrations killed me). But for real just one “diary-filled” meal after not eating it for awhile and let’s just say you go right back to HAPPILY not eating it.

I started a “couch to 5k” app and completed my first “post-baby #2” 5k last Saturday. It was the Run for the Trees and it was my 4th year in a row doing it.

It was hard, ridiculously hard and pretty discouraging, honestly. Everyone wants to improve with time and become better…well this race is one of those reminders that I have a longgggg way to go to get back to where I was last year (or the years before for that matter).

BUT I finished it! That’s better than what I wanted to do…which varied between crawling in a hole to die, punching someone in the throat, and/or consulting a doctor about some serious liposuction. Not kidding.

During the week leading up to the 5k I was trying to come up with a new plan for after the race. I need structure. I thrive off of a routine and a plan! There are 231805430953580059034529 different programs out there and people that swear “this is the best thing ever.”

Here’s the deal… I know what to eat. I know how to workout. I just need some kind of general plan as to how I’m going to do those things and I would LOVE to not spend $$$ at this point. I have so much to lose and I know I will hit a sticking point after I lose some of the weight. At that point I will look into something that might cost but right now I just need something free and simple.

Here’s what I decided on. It’s 100% free and gives you everything from specific workouts to do, to a general meal plan, to recipe ideas/food list. Bodybuilding.com has tons of these programs! There is also an app you can download that lets you pull up the workouts & track everything.

It is a 12 week program, and at first I thought “TWELVE weeks. Yeah. No.” But I’m in this for the long haul…as in as long as it takes to get back in shape and be healthy-haul. So why not? I will be going a short trip to Haiti this summer and probably 1 other vacation so I know there will be some weeks that are better than others. But it’s a goal…something to strive for…exactly what I needed.

I think the scariest thing about a 12 week commitment is the opportunity to fail.

THIS was the reminder I had to share…

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I will fail at times. We all do. I will have “bad days”…maybe even “bad weeks.”

Moments where I lose sight of what matters mosts.

Moments where I allow the lies to fill my head and control my actions.

Moments where I sit down and have the “it’s not fair that it is this hard for me while 13901832108 other women can eat McDonalds every day and look like a freakin VS model.” <-seriously. It’s annoying.

But I will always get back up. Tomorrow can always be better than today. Because after those moments of “failure,” that’s where you learn. That’s where you grow.

I’ve said it before but I just love the first day of the month. There is something so refreshing about a new month!

May 1st leaves 244 days left in this year.

TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-FOUR!

That’s a whole lot of days! This year can still be a life changing year.

How will you be better in May? What are somethings you want to change from April?

 

There is no better day than the first day of the month to get started!

 

It’s True.

Ever True. 

Truett’s First Christmas

Important information:
I am a Christmas freak. Seriously…it’s ridiculous! It has always been my favorite time of year and the countdown begins right after Halloween. Yes, I’m thankful and love Thanksgiving. Yes, I wait until after Thanksgiving (the day after) to decorate for Christmas  (my husband makes me). But you can bet by November 1st…the countdown has begun.

This year I was thrown off my game and didn’t give Christmas as much thought in the month of November because I was busy planning the 1st birthday party of the century 🙂
But sometime late November when I was dreaming & planning for Christmas it hit me…
I was agonizing of Christmas traditions and wanted to set some in place for “Truett’s first Christmas.” I even broke down and got on Pinterest and to look up some cute crafty ideas. I tend to stay away from the “perfection site” BUT due to the lack of sleep I’m getting from heartburn, having to pee every hour and just being pregnant…I often cave at 2am when the alternative is starring at the baby monitoring thinking “there will be two of these in less than 3 months.” <-that’s a whole different blog though. 🙂

So back to Christmas…I was coming up with some “traditions” and cute ideas when it hit me.

This is not Truett’s first Christmas.

Ok don’t roll your eyes here…or do but don’t tell me about it.
I know how old my child is & I… vaguely…remember last Christmas. But let’s be honest. Last Christmas I had an almost 1 month old and from December 1, 2012 when I came home from the hospital, to December 25, 2012 (Truett’s 1st Christmas) not only was I thrown into a whole new world of parenting with a husband who was working 3 jobs & going to school but I also graduated college. Did I mention I was thrown into a whole new world of no sleep and parenting?

I can write out that whole “let’s be honest” and defend why I vaguely remember last Christmas right now… but in my moment of realization it was not so pretty.
I missed it. I missed his first Christmas. I have maybe 4 pictures from the day & there were NO traditions established. I was just trying to feed him (every 2 hours) & go 24 hrs without crying…

I’d be lying if I said this didn’t take me quite sometime to get over. I really didn’t “get over it” until I mentioned it to a few veteran moms that had a baby close to Christmas and they assured me that their child’s first Christmas was very similar.

It’s funny how that works. Sometimes we need someone that is a little further down the road to say “me too!” Someone that gives us hope. Hope that in spite of the days weeks maybe even months where life is changing, you are trying to get your footing & you feel like you missed a moment that you will never get back…in spite of that…
You are a good mom & your little one still thinks you are the greatest thing since sliced bread (my kid loves bread!) …& they won’t need years of therapy because you only have 4 pictures (2 of which they are crying in) of their 1st Christmas.

Truett’s 2nd Christmas:

  • He was sick (combo of allergies & teething).
  • I got maybe 3 hours of sleep the night before…for some reason when I’m pregnant my body thinks that I don’t need sleep.
  • We realized at 10pm on Christmas Eve that we didn’t make the “Happy Birthday Jesus” cake that I had been saying for 2 months we were going to make & we didn’t have the stuff to do so. <-that was suppose to be one of those “traditions.”
  • He surprisingly was not interested in reading “The Christmas Story” even if it was the kid version that I got him as his “Christmas book” <-another “tradition” that didn’t go as planned.

But it was GREAT.
We were together and spent some quality time with people we love. I know that Truett felt loved and that I will always remember this Christmas as a special one.

The Christmas that I chose to tell that “mommy guilt” voice to shut up and enjoyed the good moments along with the bad, and accept the “I didn’t do ____” or “I forgot___” but with accepting them, choosing not to focus on them.

I read this blog this morning and it said:
” It’s not that I don’t want to be better. I think at heart we wake up each day and want each day to be better than the next. That’s why I celebrate pulling up the boot straps and trying again and again and giving yourself grace. (Don’t forget grace. Ever.) Motherhood has moments of extreme patience, extreme trying, and really learning to not compare.”

Don’t forget grace. Ever.

That’s what Christmas is really all about isn’t it?

I am so very undeserving of the gift of Jesus.

I am so very undeserving of the love of my family.

I am so very undeserving of the title “mommy.”

But I am SO very grateful for GRACE.

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It’s True.

“We found something…”

I have gone back and forth about this blog and decided a few days ago it would more than likely be one of those “I need to write…but won’t actually publish.”

But I just couldn’t leave it there…as a draft for no one else to see…because I have seen amazing things happen when I open myself up, decide to be vulnerable & TRUTHFUL about my life. People who love me then know what to specifically pray for, it helps me process my thoughts & maybe just maybe someone else can be encouraged through my story.

Have you ever had that gut feeling that something was wrong…something that you just couldn’t shake and you just knew something wasn’t right.

I tend to worry but those of you that have experience this feeling, know it is more than just being paranoid.

We were finally getting to see our sweet baby at our “Anatomy Ultrasound” and all I could think about was the excitement of knowing whether this little one was a boy or girl. I knew that this ultrasound was important and they do a lot more than just check for gender but that was still my focus.

Because we were having a “Gender Reveal” party the next day we didn’t want to find out the gender just yet. The ultrasound tech knew to tell us to look away while she was looking in that area and I gave here an envelope & card to write the gender in.   I would post the picture she put in the card but let’s just say my children are loud and proud! It’s a little to up close and personal. 🙂

Back to the ultrasound…

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I always love ultrasounds & seeing my sweet baby never ceases to amaze me! The baby was moving all over the place and covered his face with his hands (just like his brother). We saw him open and close his mouth and got to see his HUGE feet. 🙂

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Barry and I were teary eye/excited to see our baby! It’s truly such a miracle and incredible what technology allows you to see.

There were many parts of the ultrasound where I had NO idea what I was looking at but when it came to the heart I just took a guess and said “That’s the heart right?”

The tech told me that I was right. Initially I was just taking in the wonder of being able to see my baby’s heart beat…but after what seemed like a very long time (probably a couple minutes in reality) she was still taking pictures and zooming in on the heart. I said “does everything look ok?” and she responded the way she was “suppose to” with a quick “I’m not allow to say anything other than that’s the heart.”

I knew. I knew there was something…I didn’t know what or how bad but something was wrong.

I talked about the experience with a few people & of course everyone came to the same consensus (being very encouraging & kind) that everything was fine. I tried to brush it off as nothing and focus on the party planning/our busy weekend ahead.

Monday morning my follow up appointment came and I had almost convinced myself that I was just worrying to worry. I just kept telling myself everything was totally fine.

The doctor came in…I noticed she had a paper that she faced down on the counter…

that feeling started to seemed to scream inside me…something was wrong.

She did the usual “How are you feeling” etc. etc. Just normal small talk.

Then I heard those words…

“We found something called an EIF or a “bright spot” in the baby’s heart while doing the ultrasound.”

She proceed to explain what that meant and handed me the sheet of paper that had been faced down.

Paragraphs of information about this term I had never heard. Honestly, everything started to blur together after that. I listened and try to make sense of what she was saying. She put a lot of emphasis on the possibility it was nothing serious and that going to see a specialist was just “precautionary.”

I am fully aware this news could have been so much worse…and I have read all the stats about how common this is…and I was told the probability that this would end up being something that would just go away.

But I also started hearing the words Down Syndrome and issues with chromosomes. This issue actually has very little to do with the heart but more to do with those two terms.

We had to wait a long….LONG…forever long week until our appointment with the “specialist.”

During that week I tried to stay as distracted as possible and of course prayed for our little one like crazy!

I had positive moments and moments were I was anything but positive.

One morning in particular I was struggling with this verse…you could even call it my “life verse.”

“but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”

I didn’t feel like God was holding up his end of the deal. I genuinely felt like I was putting all of my “hope in the Lord.” but I wasn’t experiencing anything listed after that.

I was praying and being very honest with God…all while feeding Truett some breakfast 🙂

& I started thinking about those promises…

“renew their strength”

and I realized…

The moments each night praying with my husband…

reading my bible and feeling the closeness of Jesus…

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that is my strength being renewed.

“soar on wings like eagles.”

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“run and not grow weary”

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“walk and not be faint.”

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Maybe sometimes we feel like God’s not holding true to his promises because we misinterpret them.

My appointment on Monday went well but confirmed something I already knew.

There is no guarantee that my baby will be 100% healthy & I do not put my trust in Doctors or formulas.

Because God created this baby and is already writing his story. He loves him even more than I could imagine and he has an incredible plan for his life.

There is so much I don’t understand about “markers” and “percentages” but I do know that things look very promising for this little guy & my God is bigger than anything Doctors can find.

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I am so in love already! We loved getting to see our little man in 3D and I thought it was ironic that he looked like he was praying 🙂

So that’s where we are…still anxiously awaiting the arrival of our baby boy and praying for him daily.

Thank you so much to those that have reached out to me in the last few weeks. All it took was one post about a heavy heart and I had countless messages of encouragement. My friends just loving me and caring for me without an agenda or prying for information. I truly have the greatest friends and family! Your kind words and prayers have meant more than you will ever know…

Please continue to pray for our boy and understand that we may not give anymore “updates” about this but are deciding to move forward focusing on the excitement of an addition to our family.

This baby has given to us for a very specific purpose and we are continuously in awe of the amazing fact that God chose us.

It’s True. 

The Truth About “Mommyhood”

Ok so it’s time to be “TRUE-thful” (yes, I know I misspelled it) about my week/”mommyhood.”

I have been wanting for some time to write a blog about “Mommyhood,” my up close and personal experience thus far…if for no other reason than so that one day I can look back and remember what it was like to be a “newbie.”

If I am truthful about becoming a mommy…it has been a TOUGH adjustment.
I automatically feel the need to insert a paragraph about how I have always wanted to be a mommy and I love my child more than life etc. BUT I’m not going to…
because its ok to say things are tough.
So it’s been tough & in a nutshell here is why it has been tough:
Reason #1 Because I am a total control freak…
& despite my constant what seems to be “lack of planning”…I do love a good plan! I love knowing what’s coming & what to expect. But most importantly, I love feeling like I have some kind of control or say in the result. Mommyhood is unlike anything I have ever experienced. In school, if I worked hard and applied myself I got good grades & scholarships. When training for a race if I followed a work out schedule and ate healthy I would see my body do more than I thought imagineable. Over and over again I have experienced “hard work paying off.” 1 + 1= 2 and if I am driven enough, dedicated and determined…it will happen. End of story.
Then there is mommyhood. 
I should have known when my son didn’t enter the world until I was 41 wks pregnant, while I was determined to have him by 39 wks so his bday would never fall on Thanksgiving (which happens to be his first birthday…yes you can laugh at my life 🙂 ). I should have known things would not go as I planned. I remember feeling SO frusterated. I just wanted my baby to be in my arms and to not be pregnant and swollen and PREGNANT anymore. Add on top of that…
people that tried to be “helpful” (I believe their hearts were absolutely in the right place). But every single day I heard from numerous people “Just do this…” “Try this…” “If you would just…” and then there was the occasional reminder that “He will come when he is ready,” which of course I knew but in the moment I DID NOT want to hear. BTW, I TRIED EVERYTHING other than things I thought my hurt my child. Raspberry tea, spicy food, eating a ton of pineapple (yes, I’m not kidding), going for long walks, other forms of exercise ;), walking up and down the stairs at 3am when I thought I might be having contractions….I was desperate!
I didn’t understand why my actions weren’t creating the reaction (HAVING A STINKIN’ BABY) that I wanted. Of course, this is life and I am not saying I always get my way BUT it just felt like something was working against me. I know that God has a plan for our lives and He is always in control. I believe that with all my heart and I am truly NOTHING without him! That doesn’t mean its not hard when you hear “well…this does happen…sometimes.”
Reason #2 Because I enjoy feeling like I “bring something to the table”…
I loved being able to feel like I was “giving back” and “making a difference” when I volunteered in a title 1 school or took the “problem kid” under my wing and saw him blossom. In a classroom, I could see my hardwork paying off…not everyday or even most days…but I eventually there would be that “light bulb” moment or something would occur and I would think “I am making a difference.”
& lets just be real when someone says “What do you do?” and you say “I am going to school to be a teacher.” You are never met with “oh…so what are you going to do…like…for a career???” but when you say “I am a stay at home mom.” Yeah. Insert question that makes me fell like crap on the bottom of your shoe…here.
So being a “mom” doesn’t sound good on paper, and I can count on one hand the amount of times I have really felt like “by being a mom, I am making a difference.”
AND let’s be real…it’s nice to buy your man a birthday gift…without using “his” money. No matter how much he assures you “its our money.” It still stinks.
Again, I will refrain from writing paragraphs about how I know that I making a difference and being a mom is one of the most important jobs ever. I know. But this is the way I feel.
Reason #3 Because I want so desperately to be a GREAT mom…
I know everyone does. But you see I have dreamed of being a “mommy” since I was little. Probably because I had three younger siblings that were like my life size baby dolls but nevertheless I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mommy. That’s why I picked the “career” I picked. I mean being a teacher sounded like the perfect job because then while I was waiting to have kids and once my kids were grown I could love and invest in other peoples babies. While I always wanted to be a mommy, in some ways I set an impossible standard for myself and I definitely forgot some very important truths.
You know this is the case when asked (at your childs 9 month doctors appointment) all of the “Does he…” questions and to most you answer “Yes. Yes. Oh yeah!” and then there is that one question…
“Does he wave & play peek-a-boo.” (I guess that’s really two, but it was asked as one.)
& my heart stops. I have FAILED. 
“No. I mean I don’t think he has…um….well I mean I of course play peek-a-boo with him all the time….and um. waving? Well I mean I show him how to wave…but he hasn’t really…ever….um…
No.”
The nurse immediately assures me thats totally fine and he looks great and says a bunch of other positive stuff but it doesn’t matter. That was on the little “9 month sheet” and I had to say “No.”
It’s only a feeling a mother can understand…or maybe it’s just mothers with my same personality. 🙂
When you feel like your baby isn’t doing something they should be doing, you take it personally. Because let’s be honest…he is a baby. He only knows what I teach him and learns what we practice. So some how, some way…this is my fault.
Yes, I am not kidding when I say all of these feelings came from a freaking question about waving and peek-a-boo. But I said I would tell the truth…about MY experience in mommyhood & yes I know all of you veteran moms are laughing at me. It’s ok.
The point of all of this is…being a Mom is TOUGH and it is definitely a transition.
One thing I have learned, this week actually, is that you will drive yourself crazy if you carry the weight of “mommyhood” on your shoulders all alone. As I blog I read today stated:
“…you know who you are.  Accepted.  Redeemed.  Treasured.  One who has been born again to a Living Hope and an imperishable inheritance. What do you say, Mom?  How would you like to be imperfect-completely-loved-free-in-Jesus mom?  How would you like to be don’t-need-to-play-the-games mom? Capable-of-genuinely-loving-others mom?  Guess what?  That is exactly what Jesus died to offer you. “
Because not only do I have my reasons mommyhood is hard but had to that the “mom war” and well mom’s know exactly what I am talking about.
Here is the rest of the blog I quoted…it is incredible!
It opened my eyes to the way I have been functioning. So stressed out and worried and tired and trying to get my footing in this new chapter of my life…add to that crazy hormones thanks to baby #2 and I was just like that “dry forest.” Not because I don’t have incredible people in my life that encourage & love me but because I didn’t believe those things about myself.
Encouragement truly does go A LONG way. Here is another awesome quote from Lindsay at Hello Hue:
(Thanks Lisa for sending the link to this blog. I have read it multiple times!)
“But I think we all just could use more encouragement and less “You should try this” or “My kid does this”. More high-fives, “Hang-in-there”s and “You-got-this, mama”s. Mommyhood is tough and feeling helpless when faced with a certain situation makes it even harder. A little encouragement and support from another woman, and I don’t feel so alone. 
Heck, not just mamas, but women in general could use more shared encouragement and support, am I right? Enough with the comparing, judging and side-eyeing. Let’s have more hugs, cheering each other on, and sappy stuff like that.”
I am grateful to say I have wonderful encouragers in my life and have made the choice to not allow negative, hurtful people in my inner circle…but that only goes so far.
I have to believe their words.
I have to focus on the truth that is I am “Accepted.  Redeemed.  Treasured.”
So I have decided…
I am going to spend more time with Jesus, resting in his presence and believe I am His
& LESS time obsessing over how to teach my child how to play peek-a-boo.
(I really don’t need any suggestions on how to do so either 🙂 but thanks!)
For all you mommas out there that might read this. You are not alone. It’s ok!
Its ok…
to feel like a loser when you look at all the pinterest projects you havent even attempted
to realize at 9pm you havent eaten dinner and your house is a HOTT MESS
to try for 15 minutes to get one smiling picture of you child because they are 9 months old and you need a “bear” picture…only to end up with a “full memory” notification and a screaming child (yeah…it happened…tonight.)
BUT those things do not define you. Dont stay there. 
Know that there is another mommy out there that thinks you are doing a great job & your baby(s) is so very blessed to have YOU!
It’s True. 

The “Luckiest” Day of the Year!

So on this day last year I finally (after about a week of debating) broke down and took a pregnancy test.

Important background info:

We weren’t “trying.” I had a cute little 5(ish) year plan and part of that plan was to finish school, start working, pay off student loans, travel the world etc. THEN have lots of babies and maybe when the lottery….why not?

So while I have ALWAYS wanted to be a “mommy”…seriously that’s what I used to say I was going to be “when I grow up”…I’m also I control freak (God has a sense of humor) and was approaching my final internship for school which involved not getting paid and being in a classroom until the beginning of December.

My honest response: After three tests (don’t judge me I had to be SURE), I start doing the math and realized that my due date would be November.

Insert freak out moment ->here<-.

Then I started thinking about how in the world this would work financially.

Then I started thinking about being responsible for another human being.

THEN I started thinking about actually bringing this child into the world…at this moment Barry’s shoulders looked exceptionally broad.

Then I felt like I was going to vomit.

All the while…my husband was on cloud nine and saying amazingly sweet things about how could not have ever imagine a more wonderful mother for his child…CHILD!!! Holy this is really happening.

Something important to note:

By the end of the day, while I still had 4290498390024 questions as to how this was going to work out….I knew. I knew this would be an amazing! Not easy…somewhat stressful but AMAZING and a journey that I would never…ever regret. I am so thankful for a God that supersedes my little “plans”, knows exactly what we need when we need it and works everything out just the way it is suppose to be.

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I literally woke Barry out of a dead sleep because I was sure my eyes were playing tricks on me….then when he CALMLY confirmed there were two lines…I made him go by a different kind 🙂

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12 weeks

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16 weeks

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Sooo another “plan”

We always said we would have a “gender reveal party” to found out the sex of the baby. Things changed when at our 13 WEEK appointment the tech said she could give us “a very good educated guess.” I quickly responded with “No that’s OK. We want have a party, and be sure, and have you write it down and a little sheet of paper…and….and…and.” Meanwhile my husband is giving me that PLEASEEEEE look and sitting on the edge of his seat. So I caved. She said she wouldn’t say anything but just “show us.” My response was “IS THAT A FOOT?” 🙂

We thought maybe we would still have the party as a way to tell everyone else….ha! We started making a list of people on the way home and trying to figure out a date. After 15 minutes, a list of 100+ (no joke…we had over 300 at our wedding) and a date two months out…we both caved. BUT we still wanted to be creative. So we came up with these little brown bags with a pink and blue question mark. Then filled them with pretty much anything sweet that had a blue wrapper! I also colored the “HE” in Hersheys…just in case. Within hours we had told some of our closest friends and family. If you couldn’t tell…NEITHER OF US ARE GOOD AT KEEPING SECRETS! But we did put the little collage above together as a way to tell the FB world…after our 18 week appointment (just to be sure).

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Photo credit: Darcy Ruby Photography…look her up! She is awesome 🙂

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Darcy Ruby Photography

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Darcy Ruby Photography

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This was after the tech was pushing on my belly to get him to uncover his face. His little personality started coming out early. He still loves his hands by his face!!

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We picked out our little man’s name at 32 weeks, after much back and forth. I have commitment problems…Barry LOVED this name and started suggesting it as soon as we found out it was a boy. Truett is my grandfather’s name and I admire him in so many ways! We also loved how unique it is. Working with children for 5+ years makes you associate most names with a child. Whether good or bad, a name would come up but it make me think of another child I had worked with. We knew we picked a keeper when our pediatrician who has been in the business foreverrrr said “Oh! I have never had a Truett.” We plan on calling him “True” and I must include that my husband and some of his friends have a chant ready for when he makes an amazing sports play. 😉

James is Barry’s middle name and it was so important to me to include this in our sons name. I can only hope he turns out to be just like his daddy!

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9 pounds…yes NINE…of sheer perfection!

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He is adorable in green…and red…and blue…and orange. Yeah…he’s just plain ADORABLE!

My heart is full and I feel a love that I have never felt before. Every morning when I look at this beautiful little boy I think…

God gave this to me! He is ours…to love, protect, and teach while he is here on earth.

What an incredible privilege that is. Even on the days full of spit up and poop…he ours and we could not be more in love.

It’s True.  

The Beginning…

Here’s to beginnings!

There is something so hopeful & peaceful about beginnings.

As a mommy I have to remind myself that each day is a new beginning…sometimes I need a new beginning half way through the day 🙂

Beginnings remind me that whatever struggle I’m facing, issue I’m worried about, or meltdown I’m trying to avoid…it is a season with a new beginning insight.

Beginnings also allow for special memories to be stored away deep in my heart and excitement to stir as I dream of the next amazing thing that will happen on this journey as a wife and mommy.

The options are endless because this is only just the beginning!

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(photographer: Luna Bella Photography)

“Peace.

It does not mean to be a in a place where there is no

noise, trouble or hard work. 

It means to be in the midst of those things and still be 

calm in your heart.”